New Zealand

New Zealand provided us with so much variety!

My husband and I have very different preferences when it comes to certain types of traveling. If I were the only one traveling, I would avoid THE THING that tourists come to see. 99% of the time, I must strain to enjoy the following:

1. popular historic monuments
2. art museums that aren't "interactive" (the only thing to do is to look at pictures that you can "google image")
3. churches that appear in the history books that used to put me to sleep (which you can also "google image")
4. sightseeing tours designed to attract old people (who don't know how to use "google image")
5. sightseeing tours that are advertised as "family friendly"
6. any tour in which the description mentions "luxury motor coach"
7. going to places that have a "high season" DURING said "high season"
8. tours in which the "guide" includes the same information that said tourist can "google" at home

Now correct me if I'm wrong (but I don't think I am), but the items on the previous list don't constitute "traveling." You may make yourself feel as if you've really "experienced" Italy because you listened to a "real" Italian lady say, "Bonjourrrrrr-no! dat means ccchel-lo in Eeeee-tahl-eee-an!" That's got the same level of "Authentic Italian" as The Olive Garden. People watching, getting your own impressions of things, seeing cities and towns when they are devoid of tourists but full of natives, seeing towns that have no attractions that appear in travel guides, seeing grocery stores in foreign countries, watching television or listening to the radio, looking closely at advertising, going to a local sporting event ... all of that constitutes "seeing a place."

In a very roundabout way, my previous rant describes precisely why I love New Zealand. By virtue of being so far away from everything else, NZ has managed to avoid over-commercialization. The islands are so difficult to reach from so many places, that people make the journey only if they're serious about seeing the country or if they have endless cash to blow on getting there and endless time to spend being there. I did the math on this one, and I can tell you with authority that the "obnoxious tourist index" in New Zealand amounts to only about 40% of the old farts and a mere 10% of those "families with too many children" who make too much noise because the parents assume that you think their kids are adorable and they think you're smiling when you're actually gritting your teeth and biting your tongue to prevent yourself from saying something nasty or vulgar, of course depending on how religious the family is and thus what they'd find more offensive and damaging to precious little Medusa and Lucifer.

Sorry ... got off track.

What I meant to say is that because people who visit New Zealand tend to be more "serious" travelers, the country is less spoiled as a result. First, the country is so protective of its culture and natural resources, and they'll let you know that as soon as you enter the country. When we first got to New Zealand, we saw the Travel Authority with their fierce, ferocious ... Beagles! These beasts were employed to sniff out ... FRUIT! "Woof woof," says Princess, "Granny's carrying a deadly banana in her purse!" "Arf arf," yelped Floppy, "You'd better clean that guy's boots because I think he got a speck of mud on them three weeks ago in Melbourne." Some of the most impressive natural resources and attractions are its geothermal areas (including geothermal mineral pools, which are found in Rotorua and are fairly inexpensive), whale/seal/wildlife watching (Kaikoura - a bit more expensive), hiking along the scenery where Lord of the Rings was filmed (free), and too much more to list. See photos below:










New Zealand Natives (the Maori) are actually in charge of tourism there. So instead of some dead white guy who wrote a history book in which he explains Maori culture through a white perspective, The Maori speak for themselves. This is not to say that the Maori haven't adopted some "white" culture. One of the tour guides noted that while at one point some groups engaged in cannibalism, most Maori now prefer McDonald's ... and that while Maori children used to play with Taihia, or fighting sticks, they now play with video games. However, the wood carving school still exists, as does the Maori language. They have also preserved cultural dances, food, and folklore.




If you're not into "native cultures," I promise not to judge you too much (even though it's interesting to note that the Maori were one of the few native cultures to force a treaty on colonists because the Maori were about to kick the colonists' British butts!) New Zealand has many, many other attractions, and not too high of a percentage of monuments, museums, or luxury motor coaches. NZ is very much a "get up and do it" kind of place. Most of its most striking beauty is natural. Most of its excitement involves signing a release that acknowledges that New Zealand isn't responsible for you if you die doing something crazy, like rolling down the hill while strapped to a metal ball while water and detergent swish around and "wash" you (google "The Zorb").

Then there's the Agrodome. All I will say about this place is that you can make bids in a sheep auction, meet 23 different breeds of sheep, and watch a burly man sheer a sheep in under two minutes!

New Zealand is also one of the only places in which you can genuinely brag to your friends and family that you went skiing in July! My first time snowboarding or skiing took place in New Zealand on July 29, 2007.




I also got the best souvenir EVER -- A parking ticket, which I earned by "possibly driving too fast when children might be going to school in a rural area where no one really lives during the NZ-wide school winter holiday week."

Now whoever said that New Zealand isn't safety conscious?